This is 50

This is what 50 looks like…… Those two numbers together always sounded so old when I was a kid. As the number ticked by with each minute on a clock, it began to take on a new meaning than it did as a child. 

50 years old…… 50 was the age I lost my dad to cancer. 50 was the age that I lost my mother in law to a heart attack. 50 was the age I saw as a year to strive to reach but yet feared for it to come. 

My years walking on this earth have been filled with so many beautiful moments, memories, and accomplishments. This last year and a half have proved to be no different, teaching me that each day is a gift. Autoimmune diseases bring challenges; some days feelas though my limbs are as thick and heavy as an elephants trunk waving around to find the perfect leaf. Finding your footings after a stroke can feel like a traffic jam; as your brain searches for words it needs like a computer chip scans its wires.  A global pandemic can feel like a dream; have you seen Groundhogs Day?  But as 50 came closer and closer to inching into my identity, I found courage to cradle 50 and nurture it into full bloom. Some days I have to stop and pull weeds, give some extra water and sit silently in the sun to replenish but that’s the beauty of time. 

50 looks like…… a family that I have helped to grow. A career that has allowed me to share a passion with many families. Creativity that has been written in words and shared for many to read. Friends who stand by my side with laughter and hugs. A sister that knows my thoughts without saying a word. A mother that created roots of strength. Children that taught me what love truly means. A husband that holds my hand through thick and thin. A mind and body that has learned how to tackle 100 years worth of obstacles and still climb to the top. 

50 is filled with smiles, sunshine, joy, peace, love, faith because it is how I CHOOSE to see it, make it, be it. It is gratitude for this time I have been given, the people to share it with and the family to love. It is said that age is just a number, YES! A number that hangs around my neck like a 1st place medal because I am conquering, embracing ALL that 50 has given me! So bring on 50 because I’m ready to live it with every ounce of energy I have, every giggle I can find, dance I can create, and embrace that I can give. Thank you 50 for everything you’ve gifted me and taught me to be!