Unlock The Door – Open Your Heart To Support: Chronic Illness and Fear
Psychological Effects of Chronic Illness
Have you ever walked into a room and thought twice about locking the door? Have you ever taken a weekend away to travel with your family and looked up the nearest hospital instead of the greatest place to share a meal together? Have you ever planned a trip and feared actually going?
This morning I went to immerse my body in a warm Epson salt bath to try and detox whatever this illness has decided to take charge of today, with my devotional and journal of “Well-Being Just Breathe” in hand. I have found that creating time to provide quiet space to clear my mind, recharge my thoughts and focus on the positive are so necessary to my daily healing.
Today, as I walked into my newly remodeled bathroom, created to resemble a spa to provide that zen feeling that helps me escape reality for just a few moments, I reached to hook the small black iron latch locking the door for peace and privacy. Something in me stopped, gazing at the lock, absorbing the thoughts coming at me like rapid fire.
Why am I hesitating? Why is this small black latch such a simple tool but holds so much meaning in my life? Why…. my CAEBV has left memories and trauma. Chronic Illness and Fear is real!
Fear Vrs Chronic Ilness
I stood frozen, eyes still locked on the small hook, realizing it is the barrier that blocks someone from helping me if I were to faint in this bathroom. Out of fear I left the lock undone. I sat and soaked in the uplifting eucalyptus mint aroma filling the steamy air and warm water that surrounded my body with safety all while continuing to soak in the thought of that latch. I’ve spent two years locking my door to my heart, my feelings, my fears that continually push down all around me affecting not only me but those that I love and care so much about; my family, my children, my sister, my husband, my friends. I’ve never wanted to lock them out of my life, however protect them from what may lie ahead from this rare illness that was placed in my hands like a fuzzy tarantula; scared to hold yet after time, ready to let it crawl proclaiming faith over fear. The depleted energy, the sleepless nights, the pain in my body, the memory that escapes me? Who can be the best mom and grammy without energy? But then, I realized, how can I heal from all of these wonders by myself?
Faith Over Fear
Today, I left the latch unlocked not only out of fear of being alone if needed but because my circle, my tribe, my family…they are my medicine! They are my strength! They are what will help me pull through…. survive…. strive and conquer. With God and all of them! NOT ME ALONE! Chronic Illness and mental health are super important to work on together.
When you face unexpected challenges and days you are ready to throw in the towel, unlock your door. People you love are out there. Ready to help you…the real you…. the weak you….the healthy you….the sad you…. the happy you…waiting to provide that smile, a tiny laughter, a warm embrace, a meal, a text or phone call. These are the medicines that heal. This life is not meant to be alone. Let your guard down, remove your super hero cape – if only for a moment. It’s okay to accept the challenge ahead, do so with your Marvel tribe. This Super Hero tribe not only saves the world but will save you. And bonus, you beat more villains that way.
